May I present to you 20 Reasons Why It's Great to Be a Guy and 20 Reasons Why It's Great to Be a Woman. . .followed by some differences between guys and girls. :)
20 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Guy
- Phone conversations are over in 60 seconds flat.
- Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
- You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
- You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
- You can open all your own jars.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
- Your last name stays put.
- You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking "He must be mad at me"
- Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
- The remote is yours and yours alone.
- You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"
- You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
- You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
- You get out of speeding tickets by crying
- You can marry rich and then not have to work
- Your conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye"
- You never have to pay when you go out on dates
- You pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
- You always have food in the fridge
- You don't worry about losing your hair
- You get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men mess up so often
- The remote control is not an extension of yourself
- You are cleaner
- You get better tips
- You have mastered civilized eating - You don't embarass your friends or make loud bodily noises in public
- You don’t have excessive amounts of body hair
- You smell better
- You are less likely to be a serial killers, thief, or rapists…
- …and if you are, you do less time for violent crime
- You dont get the humor in the Three Stooges
- You have better fashion sense
- When women are short, your petite, when men are short… they're just short
- An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men… are just ugly
Men and Women Compared
- Eating Out
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
- Money
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
- Toiletries
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
- Arguments
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
- Future
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
- Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Marriage
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
- Dressing
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings, funerals.
- Looks
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
- Cats
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
